It is not a proven statistic, but I am convinced that 99% of all upper management, are not competent to do what their title suggests...manage. From personal experience I can agree with the above statement. I have had an endless parade of ill-mannered, discriminatory, unprofessional, and down right dumb managers in my seemingly endless work history. Why were they ever hired or promoted in the first place is always my question. I am always amazed at the sheer ridiculousness of the system in which we hire these buffoons to manage the masses. Firstly, managers seem to be the hardest to fire...even though as the age old saying goes "a few bad apples spoil the bunch" - bad management moves through the work team like a plague, creating one disgruntled employee after another until the company either fails or goes under new and equally terrible management....this is one of the main lessons that I have learned in my professional life. Such a sad state of affairs.
Performance reviews are just one of the many nauseating facets to the management system. I love feedback as much as the next person and think that it is an essential tool for improvement...but when you feel as if you are on trial for committing war crimes, the point is lost. Managers love to dish out feedback (especially negative, because God forbid we pat anyone on the back because then their performance will clearly decline) but they can never point the mirror in their own direction and see their own deficits that may be causing their employees to rip their hair out. Training for this type of self-discovery is of course absent. What a shock.
All this talk of management makes me angsty....especially because I have to see my manager tomorrow for a painstaking hour of non-stop talking with complete refusal to listen or attempt to understand my point of view. I will order something crunchy that takes a long time to chew for our "working lunch" (or as I like to call it, fake lunch hour that is really misery and not a break as OSHA requires).
Plans are overrated. As the saying goes "Even the best laid plans....yada yada yada" - I prefer "All plans go to waste". After a lifetime of disappointment and failed plans, I have decided to stop making long term plans, especially since the time and energy worrying on these plans is wasted in the end, with almost everything being out of my control. I am going to plan: meals, the week - no the day, and leave the rest up to fate, because that is what is going to happen anyway.
Pessimism must be balanced with a good healthy dose of cheesecake (the savior of the night). Nothing like winding down the day over: salad, three loaves of bread, mashed potatoes, and cheesecake (its a good thing I went to the gym alot this week).
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Holidays That Are Not Real Holidays, But "Sale-days"
We all love a good three day weekend (too bad I have to work on those lovely Fridays or Mondays now), but really we should do away with calling it "Presidents' Day". Nothing to do with the government happens that day, as far as I'm concerned. Presidents' Day is really a great day (no a great weekend) to go to the mall! For some reason retailers across the nation decided that to honor the leaders of our nation....they shall create store wide discounts, willy-nilly, for the entire weekend to lure shoppers (such as myself) who are tempted by the thought of a bargain. Not only was the mall flooded with sale-hungry consumers, but the most patriotic thing I saw that day was a sign out front of Express "Entire Store 25% Off" with an American flag background....God bless America!
Not only did I acquire two new outfits for work, but I now have enough lotion and body wash to last me for the rest of my life. Ok maybe that is a stretch, because anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with all things that smell pretty...but my stash will last me quite some time. They had an absurdly impossible to pass up sale of: buy 3 things, get 3 free. So that is exactly what I did.
The only reason I allowed myself to visit the mall this weekend was that after a nail-biting hour at H&R Block I found that Uncle Sam has raped me enough financially this year and I am to receive a hefty, much needed, federal return. Tax season can be a very nerve racking time of year, but thanks to the obscene amount of interest that I have paid for my house, my moving expenses that cost me two months salary, and all the money I forked out to the university last spring, I can rest easy for the next 11 months. H&R Block took a big bite out of my bank account for their services, but I can not figure out for the life of me all those forms and am sure that I would not receive even half of my return if I attempted the paper work solo.
Speaking of holidays, I was reminded again today at breakfast of one of my favorite days of the year...National Cheesecake Day. I could not have created a better holiday myself. All faithful Cheesecake Factory patrons celebrate this day by paying half price for their ridiculously expensive, but oh so glorious cheesecake. Ever since I learned of this blessed day I celebrate ever year without exception.
Not only did I acquire two new outfits for work, but I now have enough lotion and body wash to last me for the rest of my life. Ok maybe that is a stretch, because anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with all things that smell pretty...but my stash will last me quite some time. They had an absurdly impossible to pass up sale of: buy 3 things, get 3 free. So that is exactly what I did.
The only reason I allowed myself to visit the mall this weekend was that after a nail-biting hour at H&R Block I found that Uncle Sam has raped me enough financially this year and I am to receive a hefty, much needed, federal return. Tax season can be a very nerve racking time of year, but thanks to the obscene amount of interest that I have paid for my house, my moving expenses that cost me two months salary, and all the money I forked out to the university last spring, I can rest easy for the next 11 months. H&R Block took a big bite out of my bank account for their services, but I can not figure out for the life of me all those forms and am sure that I would not receive even half of my return if I attempted the paper work solo.
Speaking of holidays, I was reminded again today at breakfast of one of my favorite days of the year...National Cheesecake Day. I could not have created a better holiday myself. All faithful Cheesecake Factory patrons celebrate this day by paying half price for their ridiculously expensive, but oh so glorious cheesecake. Ever since I learned of this blessed day I celebrate ever year without exception.
Friday, February 18, 2011
The Temptation of Weather and a New Toy
Spring is finally upon us! I find myself more excited for the warmer temperatures this year, but know that I will soon regret that statement when the heat index reaches 105 and the humidity is suffocating...but for now I am content.
Making sales calls is much more fun when you are able to cruise around with the windows down and sunroof open. Unfortunately when you are driving around in circles looking for a hospital, only to find that it has not only been closed down, but is in the process of being demolished...the weather can only lift your spirits so much. Feelings of inadequacy were in no short supply today as I could not find the phantom recycling center along with the demolished hospital. TGIF.
Today I realized my complete and utter dependence on GPS for sections of the city that I have never been too. However, there is that all too common problem of the maps not being updated and getting even more lost as you bend to the will of the woman's monotone and often times obnoxious voice. Sigh. Oh well I became mildly distracted when I saw the sudden rising of gas prices as I careened past multiple gas stations rushing to beat the changing costs. One accomplishment for the day: I avoided the 10 cent rise in gas today by driving like a maniac to a "slower to update" gas station. Truly that turns out to be about a dollar that I saved, but who am I to complain.
Technologically I have advanced from my old inferior Blackberry to the "Jesus phone" as they say - or as I like to call it "my new favorite toy with the big pretty screen". Yes I have become an iPhone addict. So far I am happy to report that my decision to leave my unwanted companion (Sprint) for "the network" (Verizon) has proven to be a worthwhile decision so far. My signal is constant and my phone does not disappoint. Perhaps the only thing that I miss is the free Sprint navigation - but that was over rated too as it was not always accurate. I can cope :)
Pest control came today as I continue to stand vigilant in my fight against insects. Surely these warmer temperatures will attract the most vile of creatures (besides spiders) that I have come into contact with this year....the dreaded "House Centipede". Do not be fooled by its name...it does not resemble a centipede at all - it is truly 1/3 spider, 1/3 cricket, and 1/3 alien, a true horror to behold. They are fast, nasty, and freakishly colorful. If I never see one again...it will be too soon. The world would be a better place if there were no bugs (aside from the fact that the ecosystems would collapse).
The weekend holds promise, I will be at the mercy of the H&R Block staff as I hope for a reasonable tax return this year, but will have time to get out doors and join my fellow "dog-walking, sunbathing, reading-in-the-park enthusiasts".
Making sales calls is much more fun when you are able to cruise around with the windows down and sunroof open. Unfortunately when you are driving around in circles looking for a hospital, only to find that it has not only been closed down, but is in the process of being demolished...the weather can only lift your spirits so much. Feelings of inadequacy were in no short supply today as I could not find the phantom recycling center along with the demolished hospital. TGIF.
Today I realized my complete and utter dependence on GPS for sections of the city that I have never been too. However, there is that all too common problem of the maps not being updated and getting even more lost as you bend to the will of the woman's monotone and often times obnoxious voice. Sigh. Oh well I became mildly distracted when I saw the sudden rising of gas prices as I careened past multiple gas stations rushing to beat the changing costs. One accomplishment for the day: I avoided the 10 cent rise in gas today by driving like a maniac to a "slower to update" gas station. Truly that turns out to be about a dollar that I saved, but who am I to complain.
Technologically I have advanced from my old inferior Blackberry to the "Jesus phone" as they say - or as I like to call it "my new favorite toy with the big pretty screen". Yes I have become an iPhone addict. So far I am happy to report that my decision to leave my unwanted companion (Sprint) for "the network" (Verizon) has proven to be a worthwhile decision so far. My signal is constant and my phone does not disappoint. Perhaps the only thing that I miss is the free Sprint navigation - but that was over rated too as it was not always accurate. I can cope :)
Pest control came today as I continue to stand vigilant in my fight against insects. Surely these warmer temperatures will attract the most vile of creatures (besides spiders) that I have come into contact with this year....the dreaded "House Centipede". Do not be fooled by its name...it does not resemble a centipede at all - it is truly 1/3 spider, 1/3 cricket, and 1/3 alien, a true horror to behold. They are fast, nasty, and freakishly colorful. If I never see one again...it will be too soon. The world would be a better place if there were no bugs (aside from the fact that the ecosystems would collapse).
The weekend holds promise, I will be at the mercy of the H&R Block staff as I hope for a reasonable tax return this year, but will have time to get out doors and join my fellow "dog-walking, sunbathing, reading-in-the-park enthusiasts".
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Friendliest of Competitors
The glories of the sales world...numerous as they are, there is nothing more enjoyable than attending a conference chalk full of your competitors. Truly this is an experience to behold. Especially if the experience involves you all riding in one car to your destination that happens to be two hours away. If you had not already guessed...I was in the front seat.
After the usual introductions were made it was time to take turns telling the others how you got into "our beloved" industry. Most of the accounts are surely fabricated, but it is nonetheless entertaining as each one tries to demonstrate their superior passion for their work. You can not but help to feel gleeful at the mention of another struggling with their sales for the year - because this may mean that you are faring better.
Being salespeople we can not bare to have more than several moments of silence so we continue on the conversation over commonly available topics. Naturally the topics are all surface and no one is delving much into the personal at this point, much like a first date. After two hours together we arrive at our destination and are shuffled into a room full of more competitors...now we feel security in our group and stick together, because clearly the others can't be trusted. As all conferences go, the first speakers drag on covering an array of boring topics. At about 11 o'clock the choir of rumbling stomachs begins as the presenters push us to the outer limits of starvation trying to get their last point across. When we are finally released, it is much like a horse race as we all gallop off to the dining room before we faint. Sales conferences are famous for serving everyone the exact same dish, which you have no say in determining to begin with. I love salad as much as the next person, but when you are starving you want more than field greens with three slices of chicken and a stale roll...Even so, we have all eaten within 5 minutes and begin talking amongst ourselves. Many trying to make benign jokes at the others' expense to liven the atmosphere.
As the afternoon progresses, we all begin to check the time and find solace in the fact that no one really wants to spend a thirteen hour work day here. If there is someone that does, we don't associate with that person. Before the reception a small group of us park ourselves at the hotel bar for a club soda. At this point in the day we have all moved on to personal conversations and are bored of our purposes for really being at the event to begin with. There is always someone at the table giving advice to someone else and pretty soon the entire group joins in. The stories and comments are very animated, due to the gregarious nature of everyone taking part and the conversation ends with warm smiles and knee slapping. I do enjoy this part of the day and have gotten extensive life advice from my companions who are at least 20 years my seniors.
Soon after we mingle our way to the reception room where everyone heads straight for the bar. Upon discovering that it is an open bar, it is easy to distinguish the alcoholics from the social drinkers. The liquor and beer is cheap, but that seems of no concern to most people as we all thrive on free handouts.
Thank goodness for the appetizers. After scarfing down about 10 crab cakes and three mounds of fruit I feel energized to "work the room". Drifting from one group to the next is not difficult, especially because all of the most social people tend to gather together, so after a few dud conversations I park myself with a group near the chips and salsa (clearly kindred spirits). We discuss the days events and greet anyone new entering the room. Not long after the food begins to disappear we are all ready to hit the road and head home.
The return drive is enjoyable as we truly have become "friendly competitors" and the promises of helping each other fill the air as lunch invitations are already being made (especially due to the existence of expense accounts).
We all return to our normal routines the next day and are anxious to spend the next evening lounging on the couch in more comfortable attire.
After the usual introductions were made it was time to take turns telling the others how you got into "our beloved" industry. Most of the accounts are surely fabricated, but it is nonetheless entertaining as each one tries to demonstrate their superior passion for their work. You can not but help to feel gleeful at the mention of another struggling with their sales for the year - because this may mean that you are faring better.
Being salespeople we can not bare to have more than several moments of silence so we continue on the conversation over commonly available topics. Naturally the topics are all surface and no one is delving much into the personal at this point, much like a first date. After two hours together we arrive at our destination and are shuffled into a room full of more competitors...now we feel security in our group and stick together, because clearly the others can't be trusted. As all conferences go, the first speakers drag on covering an array of boring topics. At about 11 o'clock the choir of rumbling stomachs begins as the presenters push us to the outer limits of starvation trying to get their last point across. When we are finally released, it is much like a horse race as we all gallop off to the dining room before we faint. Sales conferences are famous for serving everyone the exact same dish, which you have no say in determining to begin with. I love salad as much as the next person, but when you are starving you want more than field greens with three slices of chicken and a stale roll...Even so, we have all eaten within 5 minutes and begin talking amongst ourselves. Many trying to make benign jokes at the others' expense to liven the atmosphere.
As the afternoon progresses, we all begin to check the time and find solace in the fact that no one really wants to spend a thirteen hour work day here. If there is someone that does, we don't associate with that person. Before the reception a small group of us park ourselves at the hotel bar for a club soda. At this point in the day we have all moved on to personal conversations and are bored of our purposes for really being at the event to begin with. There is always someone at the table giving advice to someone else and pretty soon the entire group joins in. The stories and comments are very animated, due to the gregarious nature of everyone taking part and the conversation ends with warm smiles and knee slapping. I do enjoy this part of the day and have gotten extensive life advice from my companions who are at least 20 years my seniors.
Soon after we mingle our way to the reception room where everyone heads straight for the bar. Upon discovering that it is an open bar, it is easy to distinguish the alcoholics from the social drinkers. The liquor and beer is cheap, but that seems of no concern to most people as we all thrive on free handouts.
Thank goodness for the appetizers. After scarfing down about 10 crab cakes and three mounds of fruit I feel energized to "work the room". Drifting from one group to the next is not difficult, especially because all of the most social people tend to gather together, so after a few dud conversations I park myself with a group near the chips and salsa (clearly kindred spirits). We discuss the days events and greet anyone new entering the room. Not long after the food begins to disappear we are all ready to hit the road and head home.
The return drive is enjoyable as we truly have become "friendly competitors" and the promises of helping each other fill the air as lunch invitations are already being made (especially due to the existence of expense accounts).
We all return to our normal routines the next day and are anxious to spend the next evening lounging on the couch in more comfortable attire.
The Capitol with no Capital
My first trip to the state's Capitol was quite informative and not at all what I expected. The building certainly has a grand appearance and makes you feel quite regal as you enter; this feeling quickly dissolves when you realize that you are one of hundreds of other "constituents" running about the halls trying to meet with their representatives. The funny part is that hardly any of the representatives are available or interested for that matter in listening to what you have to say. Most of them own their own businesses that practically run themselves while they collect the profit and are able to play politics. There most definitely are some power trips going on there...
I proceeded to traipse the winding corridors in search of the correct office number with little success. I must say that the restrooms were well above par and clearly where all the state's money has been spent this year with its numerous renovations...all that was missing was an in house spa.
Perhaps the most humorous and notable thing I learned at the Capitol is...the state has no money, no intention of giving you money, and do not want to hear from you if you are looking for money. Outside of the treasury office was a prominent sign that stated the following...
"Before entering this office ask yourself two questions:
1) Am I here to ask for money?
2) Why would I ask for money when the state has none?"
If you can answer both questions in the negative response,
you may come in."
Such a blazon message, I did not expect to see. But with the state's predicament of "no more extra federal funding in the fiscal year 2012" (which begins in July) it is no wonder that they are considering adding a food tax (hence the sudden bout of commercials with the obscure woman in the grocery store rattling on about the tax). I for one hope they do not pass this tax, as the government is already eating such a large chunk of my pay check...
The day's trip certainly hasn't turned me into a politico, but it did provide insight into why I have been waiting a year for that darn home owner's tax credit...bureaucracy breeds endless lead times...if the state is this bad, there must be no hope on the federal side of things. Also it is good to know that the Capitol's gift shop has no short supply of small stuffed-animal birds...I am assuming they are attempting to depict our country's vast collection of "state birds".
I proceeded to traipse the winding corridors in search of the correct office number with little success. I must say that the restrooms were well above par and clearly where all the state's money has been spent this year with its numerous renovations...all that was missing was an in house spa.
Perhaps the most humorous and notable thing I learned at the Capitol is...the state has no money, no intention of giving you money, and do not want to hear from you if you are looking for money. Outside of the treasury office was a prominent sign that stated the following...
"Before entering this office ask yourself two questions:
1) Am I here to ask for money?
2) Why would I ask for money when the state has none?"
If you can answer both questions in the negative response,
you may come in."
Such a blazon message, I did not expect to see. But with the state's predicament of "no more extra federal funding in the fiscal year 2012" (which begins in July) it is no wonder that they are considering adding a food tax (hence the sudden bout of commercials with the obscure woman in the grocery store rattling on about the tax). I for one hope they do not pass this tax, as the government is already eating such a large chunk of my pay check...
The day's trip certainly hasn't turned me into a politico, but it did provide insight into why I have been waiting a year for that darn home owner's tax credit...bureaucracy breeds endless lead times...if the state is this bad, there must be no hope on the federal side of things. Also it is good to know that the Capitol's gift shop has no short supply of small stuffed-animal birds...I am assuming they are attempting to depict our country's vast collection of "state birds".
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The Simultaneous Love of Carbs and Sodium
Sounds like the beginning of a commercial for high blood pressure...yes I am indeed addicted. Tonight I cooked up enough chicken dumplings to feed a family of five - I did throw in some peas to at least have vegestable content with my "flour".
I have a dangerous love affair with carbs. Oh the joys of all food things Italian and Chinese :) But oh the sodium content :(
Good thing the gym is close! I don't know what I would do without the gym to help me sweat out the massive amounts of carbs that I ingest. I did receive some peculiar looks while on the treadmill today, as I was yawning throughout my run. The yawning was not due to the fact that my lung capacity has breeched Olympic levels, rather that the television selection was poor ("The Real Housewives of New Jersery" is truely the worst show on television) and my music choice was not inspiring me to pull ahead of my usual speed. All in all it was a good visit to the gym, despite the stampede of children pouring out of the daycare center as their mom came to pick them up. For a moment I thought for sure there were multiple families, but then realized that this lady just had way too many kids.
Tomorrow I will be hitting the pavement, or ice as it were...I will be navagaiting some area hospitals that I am convinced were constructed after mazes. But all is well when you walk with a purpose. I often pretend that I know where I am going and then am not as likely to get stopped and asked to fill out that "vendor restrictions form" (most definitely every outside healthcare reps worst nightmare). Good thing I am not technically a vendor. I am hoping that the staff is not too cranky from the winter storm and are willing to accept my gifts of hot chocolate and informative brochures.
Radon update: the house is fit for human (and canine) habitation. Luckily the levels were well below the "you are subjecting yourself to dangerous carcinogen levels" reading - so I can sleep easy tonight with that knowledge.
I have a dangerous love affair with carbs. Oh the joys of all food things Italian and Chinese :) But oh the sodium content :(
Good thing the gym is close! I don't know what I would do without the gym to help me sweat out the massive amounts of carbs that I ingest. I did receive some peculiar looks while on the treadmill today, as I was yawning throughout my run. The yawning was not due to the fact that my lung capacity has breeched Olympic levels, rather that the television selection was poor ("The Real Housewives of New Jersery" is truely the worst show on television) and my music choice was not inspiring me to pull ahead of my usual speed. All in all it was a good visit to the gym, despite the stampede of children pouring out of the daycare center as their mom came to pick them up. For a moment I thought for sure there were multiple families, but then realized that this lady just had way too many kids.
Tomorrow I will be hitting the pavement, or ice as it were...I will be navagaiting some area hospitals that I am convinced were constructed after mazes. But all is well when you walk with a purpose. I often pretend that I know where I am going and then am not as likely to get stopped and asked to fill out that "vendor restrictions form" (most definitely every outside healthcare reps worst nightmare). Good thing I am not technically a vendor. I am hoping that the staff is not too cranky from the winter storm and are willing to accept my gifts of hot chocolate and informative brochures.
Radon update: the house is fit for human (and canine) habitation. Luckily the levels were well below the "you are subjecting yourself to dangerous carcinogen levels" reading - so I can sleep easy tonight with that knowledge.
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