A Time Of Statues

Antiques are fascinating to me, they make me think about what will become of all of my possessions, both trivial and valuable, after I die. Well any antique that ends up at an awesome resale store is lucky :) this weekend while my mom was in town we explored an antique store near the city. I found a very awesome dog statue a tribute to my own dog children, which apparently was a popular prize at carnivals back in the day. I would have been much more excited about awesome statue prizes versus the current animals filled with cheap foam... Ah yes a time when people had more time and desire for detail. There are definitely downsides to living in past eras - more untreatable disease, less product protection for the public, looser sanitation standards...but detail, they definitely had that! I tend to love things that are more vintage than not, yes some things are just down right hideous, but there are always gems hidden among them. I really want to have more time to dedicate to the pursuit of creating crafts, paintings, etc. Thanks to my discovery of etsy.com I have an eventual idea of where I could sell them. We will have to see.

Flavored popcorn is wonderful. "Blue raspberry" may sound questionable to some, but I love it! All things blue raspberry are usually fantastic, and this did not disappoint. There was a lot of food this weekend...as we inch closer to the holidays I can feel myself slipping into holiday feasting mode...that will mean even more trips to the gym. 

The wind is gusting outside as I prepare to make my way out for another day of work. Today should prove to be rather interesting, I do hope that the rain holds off until later as I just washed my car two days ago. The dirt was really caked on last time. Hopefully I will have my head on straight as the week continues and will be able to create more coherent postings :)

TILM: Blue raspberry popcorn, good news for friends, FLORENCE, thinking about Christmas, good books, Thanksgiving break is almost here!!! 

Long Over-due

Well this has certainly been my longest stint without a new post. With my love of fall and beginning all things festive this time of year, it hasn't exactly been at the top of my priorities to keep writing new blurbs on here. But tonight if I go to bed too early I know I will sleep too long and feel like a zombie for Friday and that is not a good feeling.

So whats new? FLORENCE! Yes the album "Ceremonials" if FINALLY out and I am definitely obsessed (and actually listening to Never Let Me Go at this very moment. The album is certainly different (as Florence always is which makes her genius and unconventional) and some tracks took a few listens to appreciate, others were amazing from the get-go. Her voice is still amazing and "the machine" as it were, is definitely staying strong. The new album actually assisted me in completing my best four mile run yet! *I am considering a small running challenge (5k maybe...) I guess I want to keep improving my ability with distance to prove to myself that I can do it first before officially deciding. I have never found such good running music and I have to give that some credit for my running success this week.

Halloween has passed and it has proved to be another interesting year ;) This was the last epic year of "The French Maid" who is now retiring and a new costume will make its first appearance next year. Fall is naturally flying by and cold winds and gloomy weather make their entrance - ominous of the classic midwest winters we have all come to know. I don't mind chilly, but freezing and windy is another story. As I age I come to desire only mild weather more and more.

I feel oddly optimistic about things (despite the competitive and seemingly unstable nature of my current work situation). Work has little to do with my happiness - I must contribute that to my wonderful boyfriend, puppy children, friends, new music, book project, fall weather, etc. My dream in the future is to work unfettered by a boss or corporate structure, to create beautiful and meaningful things - that would bring me a lot of peace in my life. Joining the seemingly endless cycle of adult working has changed my outlook on things in a darker way - but I feel like I have been able to recover some of my original self slowly over the last six months. It is amazing how that changes things - depressing to think about....but when people forget who they really are and become slaves to their passionless jobs (even without meaning too) it can be a hard place to crawl back from. But I am working on that.

The holidays are my favorite times of the year so I am excited to decorate for Christmas no later than the day after Thanksgiving, per usual! I have ordered more candles and they even came with free "festive" holders so I eagerly await their UPS delivery tomorrow.

In lou of my continual love of Florence:

And the arms of the ocean
Are carrying me...
And all this devotion was rushing out of me...


Seems a heavy choice to make
But now I am under all...


And its over, and I'm going under
But Im not giving up
Im just giving in. 

The Continual Continuing

Yes this cupcake was amazing!

So far the "Autumnal Bucket List" is going rather well. I am continuing on with my reading of The Shining and I must say that it is fantastic! The detail is plentiful and it makes Jack Torrence (who I will always envision as Jack Nicholson) look even more deranged :) I understand the story and all of the intricacies of the story much better. Now when I watch the movie again this month (which needs to be added to my Autumnal Bucket List) I will have a greater appreciation for the subtleties.

In other news I did complete my very first batch of homemade chili - it did turn out slightly less like actual soup then I would prefer, very super chunky. But the flavor was great and with some Fritos added on top I was rather pleased with myself and my ever increasing culinary skills. Pumpkin pie will be on the menu in the coming weeks! HURRAY PUMPKIN! Also said trip to Lemp Mansion has been scheduled and I am super excited to indulge in their chicken, potatoes, biscuits, and other "homemade haunted goods".

Late last week my little grease ball (Mogli) who had become frighteningly unkempt due to his ear infection and castration...FINALLY got his sutures out and was properly groomed this past weekend. And what a difference! He smells like cupcakes and looks very handsome! He will have all the lady dogs swooning at the dog park. His training is slowly coming along - minus a few lite accidents and some hysteria barking out the window.

The weather lately has continued to be fantastic and my allergies are slowly (fingers crossed) beginning to lessen.

Here is my TILT update!
* Car washing, welcome change in schedule for the day, tea (always), feeling good about the future, Jane Eyre (can't wait to watch this!!!), my fitness pal (best free app ever!)

The Satisfying Weekend

Sunday is almost over, and sad as it is, I am happy that this weekend was enjoyable :) I am still loving this weather, many of the summer-fanatics are now feeling gloom and doom with the chilliness, BUT I AM NOT! I say yes to jackets, blankets, hot drinks, chili making, and hurray to cloudy and cool days.

Mogli has survived his castration and is now in the healing phase - you wouldn't know it by looking at him as he is bounding around the house and even though he does constantly bash his e-collar onto any and every surface, he seems to have no idea that he just underwent a surgical procedure. All is well in the recovery - we are just hoping that he gets over his ear infection so I can stop shooting that disgusting goo (that he completely loathes) into his ears. He looks much like Michael Corleone of The Godfather, with his black, greasy head of hair - there is just no way to keep that ear remedy under control! I anxiously await the day I can bathe him again.

Enjoying the small things this weekend played a huge part in why it was so great! Cooking successes and following through in our reduction in restaurant eating is going well and according to plan. We did let ourselves indulge in a weekend trip to the Olive Garden where we ran into our two good friends while still waiting for our table! Much fun was had as we chewed over the usual gossip and hilarities of life. We also FINALLY remedied that gaping hole in our ceiling! Just a little trip to Lowes and some handyman tricks later we have covered the hole with a vent cover complete with magnet vent seals to keep the moisture from destroying the top of the ceiling (clever invention I might say). I have also procured all the ingredients that I will need to fire up the crockpot this week and make my first every homemade chili! I cannot wait as this was one of the items on my "Autumn Bucket List" (yes I know, but still, a bucket list is a bucket list no matter how small...or seasonal).

Tonight has ended well, complete with HouseHunters and me working on writing :) Happy day indeed!

*Autumnal Bucket List - 2011*
- Make homemade chili
- Visit and dine at the "Lemp Mansion"
- Finish reading The Shining (Im working on it!)
- Carve pumpkins with Mogli for the first time
- Eat lots of homemade pumpkin pie (which I am a seasoned veteran at making)
- Wear my new scarf, and wear it correctly so that I do not look like a fool! 
- Continue to wear "autumnal" shades of nail polish 

The Luck of the Unlucky

Let me just say that I am in heaven with this weather! Fall is fabulous! Just this afternoon I needed to satisfy my hot chocolate cravings and stopped off at a cute new cafe and was impressed to find that the hot chocolate is to die for! HURRAY! This could be dangerous though...living in close proximity to deliciousness is always a struggle with temptation.

Even though this weather has lifted my spirits, I was in the depths of despair late last week as I discovered that my brand new car had been struck in the parking garage :( Oh yes, I am no stranger to the nightmare of car accidents...this is the eighth time that someone has hit me, the first time for this car, but the two before it were magnets for disaster. People really need to be more careful and stop hitting me! Especially when I am parked and not even in the car! Its very frustrating and after a week I am still waiting to get my car back from the repair center...I am glad that I have a rental, but miss having my own vehicle. My hope is that after I do get my car back that this does not happen again for a long time (or ever if I really had my way, but that just doesn't seem likely).

Today Mogli becomes a eunuch. It is essential for his belonging to the dog park, training class, pet hotel, really anything that he needs to be involved in. But I feel for him, the thought of my little baby undergoing surgery is sad and I hope that he does not rebel against the E-collar and heals quickly. I need all the luck that I can get after I pick him up this evening...Chloe's week after surgery was very unfortunate so I hope that this time it is less disastrous.

TILT: New music (and upcoming albums: Coldplay, and FLORENCE!!!), great weather, heated seats, wearing long pants, hot chocolate, more cell phone minutes, approaching holiday season, reading hilarious blog entries, fun plans coming up <3

The Ever Allergic Reaction

ATCHEW! Yes, sneezing and coughing have become part of my daily routine as the mold and ragweed counts continue to rise. Sad indeed that my body continues to attack itself for no reason and keep me miserable and sleep deprived. Ah biology.

On a good note the temperatures are beginning to drop and that makes me jovial! I love fall and I love to layer! I have quite the love of jackets and actually have more jackets now than shirts so I really need to start being able to wear them. I want to eat everything autumnal: pumpkin things, caramel things, hot things - such as tasty soups and chowders. If only I could sit at home all day honing my culinary skills that would be heaven! This fall I am determined to make a masterpiece homemade chili. My crockpot will certainly come in handy for that, just need to find the right recipe.

Recently I saw Contagion in theaters and loved it! Really not a movie I would recommend to anyone even slightly germaphobic, but the acting was great and Kate Winslet was in it so you know it was good :) It reminded me of the H1N1 scare and does a good job of showing us how fragile we actually are when faced with a mutating virus that came about through bizarre circumstances.

There are fun things on the horizon in the coming weeks: weddings, trips to Six Flags, birthdays, and camping excursions - fall is the best time of year and with the holidays approaching I could not be happier (well of course unless these allergies would just desist...).

TILT (last week): Hand breaded shrimp and onion rings, dog parks, wearing jeans, watching fun movies, continuing to get closing to finishing The Lost Symbol (IM ALMOST THERE!)

The Bug That Flew Out Of Its Air Duct Vent

Happy day today is...the air ducts were cleaned today! It was quite the ordeal as the temperature outside is breaching 100 and the front door had to remain open to allow for the massive vacuum to run through the house. The vacuum itself actually reminded me of The Grinch, as you certainly could have enveloped a christmas tree in it.

As they cut a hole in the mainline to insert the vacuum a giant bug took flight outwards and almost struck me in the face! It was shocking and after seeing that I was even more eager for them to create maximum suction force to eliminate creepy crawlies. I don't mess with bugs...

The dust and debris that the vacuum collected was audible - I could hear 15 years of nastiness being sucked up into their truck (thank goodness). Now it makes me thankful that after living here for over a year already that I can still breathe and that my lungs have not completely shut down.

There were some cosmetic casualties (much as I expected). When people paint layers over air vents, they can be difficult to pry off. No worries thanks to the paint people at Lowe's, we will be able to take in some paint samples and have the color matched to do some touchup work. there was also one corner of a wall that was badly marred as they drug the vacuum past it. But the air is noticeably fresher and that convinces me that it was worth it. After they left I was quick to turn the AC back on and then spent the next two hours cleaning due to the debris mess.

A worthwhile process indeed, but certainly a process.

The Long Awaited Eviction

Many moons ago I discussed the noise and drug problems of my abhorred neighbors...There were many phone calls to police in the wee hours of the morning when I should have been sleeping and a general fear of being outside and running into them. Sooo after also speaking with their landlord and numerous complaints the noise finally got down to an acceptable level. I was no longer living next to a constant rave.

There was still the matter of illegal drug use and oh so many "undesirables" lurking around. I thought that was just something that I would have to deal with through the remainder of my occupancy here...Today was my lucky day!

Upon returning from work I smelt the unmistakable odor of illegal happenings...I called the landlord to notify him and he was on it! He raced over with the police and staged a confrontation. After having an intense discussion (from what he relayed to me) with the tenant AND discovering that one of the other "occupants" is wanted for fraud...he agreed to vacate the premises in 15 days. HALLELUJAH!!! My wish has finally been granted and I think I will be able to reside on the patio without fear or reservation. At last!

The day in which they finally move is sure to be a glorious one. I look forward to it and hope that the next tenants (or owners, which would be even better) are normal and courteous.

The Delay In Dust Deletion

Soooo the air duct cleaners were on time today, BUT due to the poor design of the utility area in this 45 year old house...they did not have enough room to access both the air lines...fail.

I was oh so looking forward to breathing normally and not thinking about all the dust, bug feces, and god knows what else I am constantly inhaling. But all good things come to those who wait...I guess. We were informed that a different route may have to be taken - perhaps cutting into the ceiling or doing a less effective but still better-than-nothing cleaning of the vents and not the mainline. We shall see - we are awaiting the next phone call.

BUT there is other exciting news that I have not shared yet. I have learned once again that going to a dealership to "look at cars" is indeed a dangerous thing. Especially when you come to not like your current car and all you can think of is the continual depreciation in value that is taking place. Do not get me wrong - Honda is fantastic! Great gas mileage, quality materials, sporty looks...but when you buy the same car twice in a row in different model years and not the much has changed: you have no bluetooth, no nav features, no heated seats...well ok so maybe I did want a more luxurious vehicle...

So what better idea than to stay in the family I know and love but move on to better options...yes indeed I found myself at the Acura dealer. The whole experience was different. Everyone at the dealer had fancy accents from all around the world and offered to show you the "lounge" with ample refreshments. I felt like I was in Beverly Hills for a few hours :) When our sales person offered us a test drive I should have known it was all over and my Honda was not leaving this lot....

The test-drive and acceptable appraisal of my Honda was all it took. Before I knew it we were driving away in a brand new vehicle with all the options I had desired. There are a few minor downsides (but I have decided that they can be over-looked) I now must buy ultimate/premium gas, I do not get as good of gas mileage...BUT I can speed off from a dead stop and not hold up traffic for miles on end, my rear will be toasty in the winter months, and the sound system IS TO DIE FOR!

All in all I am a happy Acura owner - now just to get rid of this dust material in the near future...

The Fifteen Years (at least) of Dust

My allergies have been depriving me of sleep recently and we are taking drastic measures...I am giving into all those ads...and having the air ducts cleaned. It is most overdue...the last owner of my house lived here for fourteen years, I highly doubt she had the air ducts cleaned due to the build-up. I guess I just thought dusting once a week was pretty average - but then the dust began to multiply sooner, coupled with my recent bout of extreme night allergies - the ducts are yucky and unfit for my nasal passages, that is my conclusion.

The company we hired promises to show a before and after video inside the duct work. I am sure that will be most disgusting, but will make me feel that my money was well spent. Surely the dogs will not take kindly to the presence of workers and giant vacuum tubes, but it must be done.

Discovering new tunes is always fun :) Those British men and their fantastic alto vocals...ahhh swoon. The Script has a new album out, there are a few good select songs, but overall it is once again the singers ever disastrous love life that permeates the album. It makes me wonder if he is still falling from one girl...or many...one can only guess.

The Reassurance Of Getting A Handle

Puppy parenting is finally getting easier! I remember this forlorn stage from raising Chloe and it is beginning to become manageable! Thanks to my very helpful and supportive partner in crime <3

Today, alarm clock went off - out the door with the dogs struggling to keep them both going in the same direction - still not enough to wake me in my sleepy state. On to my steadfast helping of tea. That was better. Breakfast was next (a win for me, I am not a big breakfast during the week kind of a gal). Watching the "Today Show", whilst answering emails is one of my guilty morning pleasures whenever possible.

Experiment Veet time...yes, I am searching for a longer lasting hair removal option, rather than shaving my legs constantly. Veet is stinky, not so much so as Nair (cringe...haven't used that in years thankfully), and was only effective by about 70%. Now this was the first trial run, so perhaps next time it will go more smoothly...no pun intended ;) It was not a total failure...but a far cry from the claims of the commercial.

Next it was time to hit the road for my typical sales calls, the first stop being a church in the ghetto...Upon my arrival I noticed a man digging through a nearby dumpster - we eyed eachother suspiciously and I made a quick dash to the church door...there were not many people around and it was too nice a day to get mugged. After the scheduled stops it was time for a lunch meeting. I have been to this establishment before and the building spelled like an old diaper....I thought that particular day it had been a patron of the restaurant, unfortunately...that was not the case. I was surprised, once again greeted with the pungent odor as soon as I stepped through the threshold. It must be a mold or ventilation issue...after sitting there for about 15 minutes you do not notice it anymore (probably because it has singed off all the hairs in you nose).

After arriving home and letting out the canines for a much needed bathroom break it was time for the scheduled pest control treatment. Again holding strong against the loathesome insects that find their way into my home is a top priority! The warm temperatures lure them in due to the climate controlled alternative to the wilds outside. My routine pest man is fantastic, thorough as can be - he understands my serious battle - and always gives useful advice on other things (today it was on having multiple dogs) and shares entertaining antedotes (the family with the coachroaches falling from the ceiling).

Today was chalk full of good news! We are able to board both dogs at a kennel - the poor woman on the phone made it through my rigorous question session this morning - and thus get away for Labor Day weekend. A weekend without taking the dogs out...will be a much needed break! A good phone call from a coworker and fun weekend plans coming up!

With temperatures slowly cooling I am feeling rather good about things indeed :)

The Vacillating Virgo

Behold! It is the month of my birth! But am I really a Virgo?...new reports this year about the upset of the zodiac calendar may differ in agreement...but I've always seen myself as more of a "Virgo-Leo concoction" anyway, so no matter.

Summer is flying by with supersonic speed and temperatures in the near unbearable range. I have practically had to scrape myself out of the car everyday even with the AC blasting. There have been several deaths that were heat-related in the area, the rain today was much needed and has given us a slight relief with coolness.

Lately, my mind has been be-bopping in millions of directions as I juggle many different things - most recently the care of a new puppy to our pack (which is now two...and is not going to change anytime soon). Improvements have been made, but we are not out of the woods yet! Male puppies are pee-machines - there is nothing that could convince me otherwise.

My friend has had the fantastic idea of creating a dating blog. Oh the stories I could tell! I hope to be a "guest-blogger". We have both had our share of crazy and down right ridiculous scenarios in the dating world. Content in no short supply.

Exercise goals continue to be on-going...Luckily I made it to the gym three days in a row this week - pretty impressive for me if I do say so myself! Unfortunately my metabolism continues to slow, but there are some food goods that I am not willing to give up.

* Happy thoughts this week: "Princess Diana Puppy Eyes", writing, Wye Oak tunes, teacup pigs, autumn, pink, sour gummies, soft skirt, birthday reward certificates, ridiculous dreams (that I secretly enjoy), thoughts of seeing Midnight In Paris...* 

Leading The Pack

Raising a new puppy brings me back to the days of "all dogs all the time". Watching dog shows on television (mainly educational, but who doesn't love a good round of "Homeward Bound" or "Beethoven"), cleaning  carpets constantly, never-ending trips outside...the list goes on. It's a good thing that Mogli is cute.

I have come to discover that compared to Mogli, Chloe (at a whopping 20 lbs) feels much like picking up a school bus with your bare hands, compared to miniature Mogli (at a mere 4 lbs). Things are slowly improving with puppy management, and I was able to sleep 6 hours in a row last night (a big win).

That's the scoop on the pups...

Today I woke up with a tad more energy (compared to the last week) and have been battling the extreme heat. Much like a sauna, the outdoors have become the bane of my existence. Everything is dying - the landscaping (boo), hanging flowers (double boo, come on little birds move on outta there), some insects (hurray), and me (slowly, but I think I can stave it off awhile longer). After mentioning throwing a pizza party for staff, I was well-received at one of my appointments today - mention pizza and you get everyone's attention. Perhaps someday people will be trying to throw pizza parties for me...but I think that is a ways off - if not totally unrealistic.

This evening I intend to do some things for myself that I have not had the chance to do lately due to puppy needs. The list begins: repaint toenails, watch tv (one of fave shows on tonight), and read before bed! Actually that sounds like a short list relatively...but between all the dog needs I am sure time will fly by.

The Dynamic Duo

Animal rescue events are dangerous stomping grounds for unsuspecting dog lovers. Upon visiting the local Petsmart for a much needed Chloe nail appointment...we were lured into the adoption section... There were many dogs in need of homes, but when a little black and brown puppy caught my eye, the cuteness took over. After a few minutes of holding this warm bundle in my arms, I knew that he would be leaving with us.

Naturally I was concerned about the effect that this addition to our family would have on Chloe. Being a long time ( and very spoiled) only dog - I figured she was in for a period of adjustment. She really enjoyed playing at the store, but seemed to be confused when he accompanied us home. 

Mogli Ferdinand (yes middle names are a must!) has been with us for about 4 days now and is laying on my toes at this very moment. Mogli is quite tiny and has a torrent love affair with feet as that is the part of us that is most accessible to him. As all puppies do, Mogli is learning the essentials of the household - mainly do not use the floor or any articles of furniture as a bathroom - and it is a process. The bathtub seems to be in frequent use as Mogli requires frequent sanitation at this stage, but in only 4 days has made steps towards acceptable conduct. 

Sleep has been little and Nature's Miracle has been an invaluable resource, but as all things I know that this difficult stage will pass. Just three years ago my dearest little Chloe was a nightmare puppy affectionately called "Jaws"... you get the picture, Chloe experienced the world through her teeth. Mogli experiences the world through peeing on it...oh boys. 

The Hatch Attack!

The little eggs in the hanging begonias are no longer eggs! Aunt K strikes again as I now have three baby birds living amongst the flowers. They assume that I am the mother bird every time that I have to refill the aqua globe and cheep and open their mouths. Observe below...

Once again the pressure is on to keep these flowers alive. My other hope is that a major poop-mess does not ensue...these tiny little birds need to learn to fly quick so that they can move to a better home than my porch! 

Celebration is in order now that the final Harry Potter installment is coming out tomorrow! It will be strange next year, come July when there is no Harry Potter release...things just won't be the same. I will have to have a marathon of all the movies to commemorate the month every year after this. There certainly are a lot of downsides to the "times" (gas prices, over-population, energy crisis) but looking on the bright side, I for one am glad to live in the era of: Harry Potter, ipods, iphones, netflix, the internet, international travel, and how could I forget...MacBooks. 

Interesting happenings are afoot...

The Aqua Dog And Construction Project

I am a proud dog parent today as my timid Chloe has tackled her second and far less traumatic water experience. Chloe was in desperate need of exercise, so what better way for her to unleash her inner beast than to frolic free and unfettered in the dog park way out in the middle of nowhere. Upon arrival I discovered that whoever designed the park definitely had a fixation on the water feature...The lake in the middle takes up about 60% of the park and is "Retriever Heaven". Chloe is far from a retriever...but she took off like a shot once I unshackled her from her leash. Her initial confusion was apparent as she watched with bizarre curiosity as the other dogs splashed around with no fear. After having roamed the "dry" grounds (well relatively dry as she plopped down in a bog of mud near the shore) we tempted her interest in the water by tossing in the o-so-irresistible tennis ball just inches from shore. Try as she might, she was not able to summon the ball with her own will and took some very tentative steps forward into the murky unknown. Careful not to lose her footing she was soon wading through the shallows with some cautious hints of tail wagging. Finally Chloe had overcome her phobia of standing in shallow water by herself. The heat became unbearable and Chloe became unbearable filthly so we decided to call it a day.

With no lack of ambition we set off onto the next task...putting together a new corner desk for the second and soon to be inhabited office. We were reminded of one very important thing...particle board is heavy...VERY HEAVY...Once we had lugged the two massive boxes into the house the real project began. Sorting through the almost comprehendible directions added lots of time onto the task. But not to worry, we are both "desk building veterans" and after a lunch and then Popsicle break we were nearing the finish line. The heat index outside reached 110 and it did make me feel better about laboring inside all day in the AC. A painstaking 6 and 1/2 hours later, we had completed our masterpiece...corner desk complete with hutch and cabinets. Needless to say I am very happy that we are finished! Furniture is always more enjoyable when assembled. Those loyal IKEA shoppers must all be savy carpenters at heart...I am not so much.

Note to those thinking of skipping the "assembly charge", if you do not have half a day, lots of patience, or a wratcheting screwdriver...turn back now...save it for the professionals.

The Big Switch

Today was finally the day that I was able to unveil my MacBook from its swaddling clothes in the box! Hurray! The legends are all true - it is quiet, amazingly intuitive, brilliantly colorful and accurate at that, does not get hot, is sleek and true to Apple form, has extraordinary battery life, and... it has a learning curve.

Its a good thing that I did not make any other plans tonight. Never having used a Mac operating system there is a lot to learn. The "Help" option on the toolbar has been my biggest ally. The biggest hurdle is trying to transfer pictures and documents from my external hard drive to my Mac - the formatting does not compute and needs to be re-formatted but that will erase the contents...meanwhile if i reformat it to fit my Mac I may not be able to load docs from my old laptop...quite the pickle. After consideration it was time to move on to the most important aspect of this transformation to the world of Apple...moving my itunes.

Moving itunes is never fun or easy (I remember that from my most recent PC to PC transfer). Several tries and lots of waiting for copying later, I successfully have installed my itunes library in its new home :) I feel very accomplished and have no intention of making the Mac to PC transfer any time in the future.

The speakers (as understated as they are) are phenomenal for a laptop! This is a total contrast to my problem-ridden, old before its time PC. I welcome the change and am confident that I will not be replacing my macs nearly as often as I was replacing those unreliable dells!

The Concert To Trump All Concerts

Early this morning I was surprised in the most wonderful way...tickets to see Florence + The Machine!!! Not only is she my favorite artist, but I had tried to buy tickets weeks in advance and they were apparently sold out. Thanks to my very resourceful boyfriend, we were able to acquire tickets from an alternative source (albeit at a higher price, but Florence is so worth it!).

The line was long, but the theater was very nice and the crowd was good-natured and we did not have to worry about getting stampeded by drunken fans. We discovered our seats were very near to the stage but also dangerously close to the speakers. I knew that there was no one I would have had rather destroy my hearing than her.

Florence appeared and was exactly as I expected - fabulous. She put her touch on everything, including the mic stand which had roses wound intricately up and down the entire length. A rose lover after my own heart. Her vocal range was even more impressive in real life and I could not have enjoyed watching her more! Interestingly enough her speaking voice is very soft and humble - a stark contrast to her powerful pipes while singing. Looking around, everyone seemed to be enjoying her as well. So much so in fact that a fanatic boy in the very front of the "mosh pit" that wasn't your typical mosh pit, handed her a painting on canvas that he had made of two lungs (the symbol and title for her album). This was clearly the most important moment of his life and she accepted it very graciously.

Applause continued for quite some time after her final stage exit, as we reluctantly head for the car.

My Florence shirt from the concert is hanging in the closet and I have every intention of wearing it this weekend :)

The Soggy Fourth Of July Weekend

The weather seems almost tropical as we continue to have a barrage of monsoons accompanied by ample amounts of humidity. Weather stops for no one, not even Uncle Sam... No matter for me, my top priority being to enjoy the extra day off that truly makes it a "holiday weekend".

What better way to begin the festivities of our nation than by indulging in a margarita complete with seemingly endless quantities of Mexican food. The margarita is quite strong, but that is a welcome side-effect after a long week. God bless this country and our melting pot of cuisine choices.

Going through my Netflix account reminds me of how risque and scandalous the movie Quills was. Kate Winslet was joined by a fantastic cast and they all participated in the most bizarre displays and commentaries about sexuality. I love Michael Caine, but prefer to forget his character in the movie when I think of his great career successes. Overall it was a very interesting movie and did not disappoint in keeping me awake and on my toes the entire time.

My infamous urge to shop kicks in as I decide that going to the Apple store to look at laptops, I mean MacBooks, is the most appropriate course of action. In true form I am overcome with my urge to buy everything. The technology of the store is mind-blowing...As silly as that may sound - there is such a lack of paper and abundance of ipads that it makes you feel as if you have stepped into the future. They have developed the most glorious way to avoid lines, every employee has an application on their itouch to check you our right then and there all while emailing your receipt! Truly genius. After interrogating the sales associate with every question that I can think of I leave with my new MacBook <3 and complimentary itunes giftcard - what could be better.

There is no time to play with the new edition to my electronic family...it lies in wait in the box as I take off for a hot and humid bike ride.

The holiday weekend was fantastic and chalk full of exciting things to entertain myself with for the week.

The Joy Of Overindulgence

There are many things to love this Thursday <3 The three day weekend is upon us (almost) and I have been able to refill the refrigerator so that I do not starve in my own house.

I decided to give my page a much needed face lift - Change is good, I am trying to embrace change more, but also not lose myself to the working world. I rediscovered some parts of myself that had certainly gone dormant this past year as the corporate world sucked out my soul and through my lack of time I felt that my creativity receded into the abyss....quite depressing, so I have taken it upon myself to maintain who I am and not let my work (currently or in the future) change me into a lifeless zombie.

My new decorations that were inspired by my trip to The Aviary last weekend turned out very well. As soon as I receive the new storage piece that I have ordered than I will be able to display the rest of the treasures that I have acquired. No matter what the appraiser says about my house...I feel comfortable here and at peace with my surroundings. Decorating for me is key - much like those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder - if I live in a sea of chaos with poor decorative qualities I do not feel the same sense of happiness in my home. True story.

I continue to overindulge in the Netflix and have recently discovered that there is a Kate Winslet movie that I have yet to see!!! The description and picture look scandalous and I am dying to watch it - being called Quills it seems to be about a crazed writer. Kate has never let me down before so I am anxious to view this new discovery of mine.

The Birds That Live In Flowers

I have a few new neighbors...on my patio...in my hanging begonias. A mother bird has decided that my hanging flowers, complete with aqua globe, are the perfect place to raise some eggs.

All I can think now is that I must keep the flowers alive and also brace myself for the massive amounts of poo that will surely come along as the chicks hatch and grow. Every time I must refill the aqua globe the mother bird flies away in anguish watching my every move as I carefully take down the basket to refill their (and the flowers) water source. I noticed today that one egg is not quite in the nest, but next to it, her aim may have been a bit off. I dare not try to move the egg myself as I do not want her to abandon that cute speckled egg. I am certainly rooting for it!

The weather today is gorgeous and I must begin the long and unpleasant task of cleaning the house (much like exercise it is the results that I am after) and am hoping that I will have the chance to venture outside with Chloe later on.

The Magic Effects Of Crepes

This weekend has been absolutely fantastic! I decided on a mini vaca to visit my friend in my old college town. With my distressed state over the misery of the working world lately...this was just what I needed! A fun-filled trip down memory lane reminded me of how I survived in this town for 4 years. In general it leaves much to be desired, but there were always a few "treasure spots" and I am happy to say that they are multiplying at a rapid rate (lucky college people still here). I still prefer my city of permanent residence, but its been a magical escape from reality.

Last night we visited my favorite and most run-down Chinese food establishment in the entire city. THE SAME WOMAN was there and took MY SAME ORDER!!! It was glorious and the food was just as cheap and wonderful as the last time I was there. Afterwards we ventured downtown to have Bailey's cheesecake and some much needed "thank god its Friday drinks". A melon martini and raspberry lemonade concoction later we embarked on our usual intimate conversations that I truly miss being able to have in person. The day included all of the usual charm of campus - community showers (that may or may not be haunted...) and sleeping on a bunk bed (so glad that I did not roll off).

The following morning brunch was in order at the most charming restaurant that I have ever been to  - The Aviary (aka: place of crepe deliciousness!). I was completely intoxicated by the decor and the endless hot tea and best crepes that I have ever eaten, of the "salted caramel with bananas" variety. I did not want to leave and after seeing the restroom have decided to incorporate some of the decorating style in my own home.

Exploring the city afterwards was very sentimental, many of the old standbys still intact along with some new additions. I must confess that this exploration involved an uncanny amount of shopping as I ran across not one, but several must-have unique items (all of which will fit right in with my new inspiration from the crepe restaurant). Happiness only continued with gelato and nice weather.

Authentic Italian deliciousness was in order that evening as well as we embarked on dinner. The following morning I went for a quite hot and humid run, but exercise nonetheless. Heading back to reality and work the next day was nothing shy of a gruelling challenge - but I am just keeping the happy memories of crepes and friendship fresh in my mind.

The Relativity of the Universe

Learning to roll with the punches is not always easy, but I take comfort in the fact that looking at pictures of good times and enjoying/acknowledging the things in my life that are good, helps me along the way. Today was quite interesting as I came to a panicked state at the fact that I may have to once again change careers...not a fun task. This realization was followed by my observing a beetle trek across someone's salad while at lunch at one of my favorite restaurants (that I will not name as I love that place and can not ruin it for the rest of you). Need I mention that my appetite from the two combined happenings was pretty much non-existent afterwards.

Seeing that my harried state was not boding well for sales I returned home feeling very downtrodden and in need of yet another vacation from reality. Good thing "Property Virgins" was on, nothing like a good home-buying show to distract me. Feeling lethargic I roused myself for a good ole run at the gym and after returning home yet again began to think on my predicament. So I then did what I do best...shop. Luckily this shopping was on a very small scale and involved me ordering some new prints for my frames - I do try to change them out once a year to get fresh scenery for the house. Looking at all these happy moments that I had captured helped to make me grateful for what I have and realize that I have been through a lot already in my life and I have made it this far. I knew that I could persevere through this surprisingly bumpy time in my life (and now slightly less bumpy as they have finished the repaving of the street which was in dire need).

I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life who have stood by me and taught me many things along the way. I am trying to keep in mind that things that happen each day need to be taken in perspective, after all everything is relative.

The Revamping Of The Street And Happy News

This morning I awoke to the sound of very loud street equipment, but I must say it is the most welcome sound of asphalt grinding and loud beeping that I could imagine. The street had developed the most horrendous pothole that you could imagine and it surely has rendered a few cars' suspension useless. After months of waiting and worsening of the street, they are finally getting down to business today to correct it! It will be nice not to have to drive in the middle of the street to avoid having to realign my tires.

After a year of endless waiting and mailing of paperwork...I FINALLY got the news that my "first time home-buyers tax credit" has been approved! Praise the lord!!! And now I just have to wait another 6-8 weeks time to receive the check, but the happy news is that I will be receiving interest for all the time I have been waiting. The bureaucratic nightmare of dealing the with IRS is coming to a close and I couldn't be happier.

I have begun a new love affair...this time with Netflix. The dream come true for a movie lover such as myself. I have watched no fewer than 8 hours of Pillars of the Earth - the fantastic book that went TV mini series and indulged in other "instant stream" movies. This godsend of a program is surely what sent Blockbuster and other rental establishments straight into the ground.

Today is the first day of summer and as I head out to my next meeting I continue to be grateful for the AC in the car - the humidity is out in full force!

The Dream of The Wanna-be-world-traveler

This week I am experiencing the joy of being a brand new customer to Netflix. Being able to indulge myself in endless movies is very exciting in itself as renting movies from stores is becoming archaic and I need to back off my trigger happy "on demand" usage (the cable bill just came a few days ago...). So I was finally able to watch Eat, Pray, Love - I had high expectations from the beginning as the author of the book, who also wrote Under the Tuscan Sun, is fantastic. The story, besides the main character having a divorce and mid-life crisis, of traveling to three different countries on a seemingly endless budget, is my dream. The section of the movie that takes place in Italy had me drooling in front of the screen at the food and scenery that I crave to enjoy and also taught me that I have a new dream destination on my list...Bali. Yes, I did have to google Bali to see what country it is in, but I was very impressed and am excited that I now have a new tropical paradise country on my bucket list (which is constantly under construction).

Watching such a movie makes me long for more freedom to travel (both expense wise and time wise). There must be more to life than endlessly toiling away at work and fighting off cicadas. I intend to find some way to be able to enjoy life more and am seriously considering the possibility of retiring in Italy (hopefully before I am so old and decrepit that I can not really enjoy it). Other countries have it made in the leisure time department.

For now I will have to be content with watching my sentimental travel movies and buying gelato at the local supplier.

The Thermostat Adventure

As a homeowner you discover many things through the process of updating and maintaining your home. Mainly you discover, everything is harder to do and takes longer than the instructions claim... The thermostat has always been an eyesore in the hallway of my home - I believe it is original to the building which is pushing 45 and when the house got a much needed makeover - the thermostat remained in its unsightly state. Being an HGTV junkie and first time home-owner, problem veteran, I decided it was time for a new thermostat.

Besides being absolutely hideous, the old thermostat was not at all accurate for adjusting the temperature - the old "lever" if you will was hard to move to an exact temperature...or even 5 degree ballpark. As the temperatures push record highs, I am in favor of AC usage, but not to the point of bankruptcy. The trip to Lowes to purchase said advanced thermostat involved the usual searching through aisles and feelings of utter disappointment at the employees incompetence. We chose a digital thermostat with the new fangeled ability to program the temperature and when it changes through the day, and were off!

The installation instructions warned of mercury in old thermostats and I was not surprised to find that the old one did indeed contain a vile of mercury. The warnings and instructions for mercury cleanup (should the vile break) where enough to make anyone paranoid...the cleanup tools spanned a massive list and listed among them were such things as: shaving cream, cardboard, ziplock bags, duct tape, etc. Lucky for me the vile did not break as we removed it with extreme caution as to avoid the hassle and apparently, health risk of the century. Now I am to contact the "proper authorities" to dispose of the mercury so they are on my call list for tomorrow. Interesting how extreme caution is needed from something that has been perched on my wall for decades - I will be glad to have it out of the house.

The new thermostat is pretty (as thermostats go anyway) and now controls the temperature in glorious accuracy. I feel like Bill Gates, being able to have the house begin cooling itself before my arrival home from work. Technology has most definitely spoiled me.

The Stint In Workless Paradise

The last week was utterly fantastic, I spent a week long getaway in the sunshine complete with Disney Parks and Harry Potter Land. Disney World is truly a magical place (especially since when you are there you are probably not on the clock) and comes complete with endless food and just the sort of whimsical atmosphere that allows you to escape from reality. I became immediately accustomed to eating dessert several times per day and being completely reliant on restaurants to satisfy all of my dietary needs. I have never been a "child of the sun" so to speak - more like an AC/shade dwelling being, but I must say I put up with the temperatures in the 90s rather well and would have tolerated practically anything just to be away and not working.

Disney World is the ultimate battleground for parents and children. We witnessed tantrums, melt-downs, and all manner of parental misery, both at the parks and hotels. It made me very glad for my childless existence and reinforced even more (if that is even possible) my choice against having children. No offense to all my friends out there who already are moms or want to be moms someday - but be warned, if you take your children to Disney World...Buckle up its going to be a bumpy ride.

On this trip I discovered one of my new favorite places on Earth...Harry Potter Land. Yes, I will readily admit that I was one of those youngsters who after reading The Sorcerer's Stone began packing my bags for Hogwarts; so walking down the streets of Hogsmeade was practically a dream come true. Universal Studios spared no expense and had everything from Butterbeer to Ollivander's Wand Shop. I was in heaven, and now have a "Hermione Granger Wand" perched on my bookshelf as I just couldn't leave without one. I was supremely impressed with all of the rides and details that brought Harry Potter Land to life. My vote would be to continue expansion on the park indefinitely. There may be alot of struggles in the world today, but I for one am very proud to live in the time of the Harry Potter phenomenon.

The hardest part of vacation is always coming back. Now that I see the house and Chloe are safe I am ready to go back and escape the swarms of cicadas that have descended on our state in full force; with carcasses littering the ground it is absolutely disgusting.

The Llama In A Wheelchair

Pet rescue events can entice even the strangest of folk to emerge from their normal means of social isolation. The one that I least expected to see was...a llama in a wheelchair. Let's back up a bit...

The past week had been dreadful, full of emotional turmoil (however, highlighted with some success at work). After thoughts of giving St. John's Wort a whirl and a very long talk with my mother, I decided I needed to desist from my usual preparation for doom's day in relationships and once again try to focus on the positives in my life, along with reality. The fact that no matter how irrational my fears may be, I should not be in my pajamas watching Blue Valentine and clutching my Pizza Hut box as if it is my last meal. Luckily, I have a stellar boyfriend who is very understanding of all my scars of the past that tend to creep out at times, who does not make me feel even more ridiculous at those times, than I already do.

Chloe and I had decided to set off into the world (albeit a rainy one) to see what this locally advertised "pet carnival" was all about. The parking was minimal, the rescues were plentiful, and the collection of people was generally strange. On one end they prepared hot dogs for hungry, soaked on-lookers, while on the other a "canine psychic" was reading fortunes for some four-legged friends. I must admit it did sound interesting, whereas Chloe's life could not be more carefree, I could just not imagine what this woman would tell me about Chloe for $20 that was so crucial for me to know. I opted out of that one. There were many rescue dogs in attendance and as we muddled around through the rain - that's when I saw it...the llama in a wheelchair.

My first thought was definitely, "what in tarnation is a llama doing here...in a wheelchair nonetheless?!" This poor llama had lost the use of its hind legs and this very bizarre woman had decided to fabricate a kind of wheelchair device for it to mobilize itself. The llama, "Holly" (as the name tag indicated), seemed perfectly content to be at the carnival in the rain and was very comfortable around all of the dogs, she even tried to nuzzle Chloe, but Chloe wasn't having it. I did notice however that this llama may have not been receiving appropriate medical care as its hind legs looked in bad shape, dragging slightly out the back of the wheelchair and missing large patches of hair. This may have been a very well-meaning individual who just didn't have the resources to care for this handicapped animal. As I looked into Holly's bulging eyes and she continued to chew on thin air, I thought to myself...I only have six days until my vacation and I am not nearly as bad off as this llama.

After leaving the festivities I happened upon my annual Taco Bell craving (I am ashamed to admit) and acquired a bean burrito on the way home. The weekend continued in a positive fashion as I had the chance to see friends, spend some time with my boyfriend, and visit World Market - place of all things global and fantastic. Now that I have replenished my "Ginger Peach Tea" supply I feel that I am able to take on the coming week and count down the days until vacation bliss will ensue.

The Revival Of The Garden And A Killer Bargain

Mulch smells like poo, but it sure does look nice when it covers up the inadequate remains of last year. Since the neighborhood association has all but given up on the landscaping, I decided to take matters into my own hands and my own shovel. Several hanging baskets, 4 cubic feet of mulch, 1 rose tree, and ample amounts of begonias later, I have created a mini flower paradise! By no means would I consider myself to be an expert landscaper, but I am proud that aesthetically the garden has been much improved...and nothing has died yet.

In order to maximize the potential success of my garden venture I decided to invest in the "as seen on tv" gardening companion - aqua globes. These ingenious devices (which are made of glass and quite fragile) are designed to provide consistent watering for your plants without having to constantly do it yourself. So far they are working splendidly - aside from the fact that they only sustain the water for several days. I need to stock up in order to ensure that my flowers survive the drought which may ensue during my week long vacation.

With humidity and above average temperatures abounding, it is starting to feel like...well not quite spring, but summer. Now if we could only stop having constantly changing weather forecasts, 30 degree temperature jumps, and thunderstorms, then maybe we could enjoy the outdoors a bit more. Every time I hear "above average temperatures" I think, great  the misery of global warming is upon us.

Today at my gym I received a killer coupon that will allow me to partake in the spa services for the very first time. I will be indulging in a facial and massage next week and could not be more excited. Normally I could not afford these very over-priced services, so I plan to treasure every second of the 2 hours that I will be there. It remains essential that I not get attached to these services as they are fleeting (the coupon expires in a month).

The Unorthodox Kennel And Various Happenings

Animal Planet airs a plethora of shows related to animal hoarding and all those unpleasantries...well today I encountered the most horrid kennel facility I have ever seen. Now Chloe may be an indoor dog...and quite spoiled...and mainly treated like a human being...BUT that does not mean that I can not recognize truly unsuitable accommodations when I see them.

Upon our arrival we were greeted by the "owner" and a very large and wild looking dog undergoing a shave. Unlike Sweeny Todd, the man was not British and did not burst out into song, but he did seem a bit off. He proceeded to tell me not to come any closer with Chloe as the dog he was shaving was half wolf and attacked smaller dogs frequently. In fact, he elaborated that this dog had just finished off a mini Schnauzer the previous week...so as you
can imagine my first impression was not one of safety.

The kennels themselves were very unkempt and filled with unsocialized, noisy dogs (not the kind of crowd Chloe and I are used to). Within about two minutes of my arrival I had decided that there was no way I was paying $200 a week for Chloe to stay here, I would have rather paid $200 to avoid the place. Among other things there was an array of farm animals that the man had rescued (which is a very compassionate act) one of which was a donkey that nearly gave Chloe a concussion by kicking at her head, as I was asphyxiating on the airborne gobs of hair. Good intentions aside, he could clearly not handle all the animals in a manner that was up to my standards. After lots of hand sanitizer in the car, we were off from that place, never to return. Luckily, I found another, far superior business - where I am confident Chloe will be treated more as she is accustomed. Moral of the story: always visit kennels, pre-boarding - actually pre-scheduling for that matter.

On the bright side of things, today I went inside a fire house that had been built in 1929 and resembled a castle. It was a real struggle to resist the urge to slide down the fireman's pole, as it stood, brass and gleaming in the very center of the room. I will be doing three consecutive luncheons there for all the shifts, so perhaps then I will have a chance. Historic architecture is such a welcome sight amongst all of the cookie cuter squares that liter the city plan. I am all for charm and character (with modern upgrades of course...and ample pest control).

The battle between Splenda and Truvia is over (well as far as my taste buds are concerned). With its bad after taste and lesser potency, Truvia has been cast out of my pantry indefinitely. I welcome the glorious return of my tried and true (albeit very chemically enhanced) beverage companion, Splenda. I indulged in a glorious cup of tea today with not one, but two packets, just to celebrate.

The Refuge of the Non-Coffee Drinker

I once again found myself at my second home...the Starbucks. Yes their free wireless internet and yummy hot chocolate (which I did not partake in today as I had a lunch meeting) they are a winning establishment. Earlier today I was making my usual rounds handing out some updated sales materials and was glad to have a chance to get some work done on the laptop before my lunch meeting. I feel like quite the nomad during the week, making stops at wifi spots when I can and planning lunch dates to ease the loneliness (to be more exact, the loneliness for friendly faces).

The one clear thought I have hanging over my head remains..."you are finally going on vacation (yes a real vacation) in only 17 days!!!" That is the thought that sustains me and I can hardly believe that its real, it still seems to be just a figment of my imagination in a more lucid state. Already having mentally packed my suitcase, I am ready to embark on a much needed escape from reality. I see lots of ice cream, beach type foods, and sunshine in my near future. Praise the gods!

Now that all the hub-bub is over from the royal wedding, it remains to be seen how closely the media will continue to follow Will and Kate. They are no doubt galavanting off to a private island as we speak...eager to escape from the public eye, kudos to them, I could not handle such a public life. Along with my "vacation fever" the royal wedding if nothing else has increased my desire to return to visit the UK 10 fold.

Tomorrow I hit the group fitness classes for round two of kickboxing. Being that my triceps are still sore from last week, it should be a very interesting 60 minutes. The real test will be if I am able to make it out of the gym and to my car on my own two legs.

The Most Loathsome Morning of the Week

Monday morning...never a good way to start the day. Well I guess it was good to wake up and find that after 10 years of a strung out war in the Middle East, we finally nailed Bin Laden. That is all well and good, now lets get the heck out of there!

Today's weather is more of the same, rain with a side of rain. Pretty soon I think we all will begin to develop webbed feet to deal with this more aquatic lifestyle. Rainy weather does have certain benefits though, desire to stay in and watch movies/tv under blankets, soup seems more appealing, and the grass will undoubtedly grow another two inches during the course of the day. My new botanicals will certainly appreciate this dousing of moisture - after searching high and low at all of the various garden shops - I finally chose two hanging flower baskets at the most unlikely place of all...the grocery store. Now we will see how long they live.

Rousing myself into a motivated state this morning is proving difficult...but after one cup of tea and watching Bridget Jones last night, I am off to blaze the trail of my winding career path once more.

The Glutenous Easter, Complete With Tornadic Activity

Its not everyday that a real tornado, not just those pesky 50mph wind gusts, actually comes barreling through your city...good thing I was out of town.

I spent the Easter holiday eating endless meals and then walking around the city with my family, trying to work off all of the food that I continued to consume. Like every other holiday weekend the time flew by at break neck speed and before I knew it I was boarding the plane again, home bound. The flight attendant was straight out of an episode of "What Not To Wear" and seemed a bit unconcerned with procedure during the flight. However, I should not complain as that is a stark (and welcome) contrast to hysterical flight attendants I have had in the past who make you feel as if the plane is going to crash and burn at any moment...

Upon returning home I felt as though I had entered the weather channel series "Storm Stories" and was relieved to find the house was still in one piece - although the ever present battle with the neighbors for piece, quiet, and no drugs rages on. As our pilot on the flight had mentioned...there is "alot of water going on here". Still raining with no end in sight, we now have flood warnings popping up across different counties. Surely there are some people bracing for the apocalypse with all these catastrophic weather events we have had lately. My home owner's insurance renewal policy came in the mail today, quite fitting as it seems I need to beef up my coverage in case of disaster.

Lunch was odd today, met an old coworker for lunch, enjoyed her company BUT the waiter did not understand the difference between: milk, cream, and cheese...ok they are all from the same thing, but in completely different forms. After assuring me that the sauce contained "cream" and not "cheese", my food arrived smothered in cheese...after two send-backs I gave up and ordered dessert as we were running out of time. The waiter gave me a cross look when I ordered the "cheesecake"...clearly this man did not understand that all just because it has the word cheese in it, doesn't mean that it tastes the same. So today my food intake was extremely peculiar: cheesecake, easter jellybeans, sauteed green beans, and leftover mashed potatoes. Clearly not the picture of health, to be fair there is not enough food in the house and I believe I have eaten my weight three times over in food this weekend - so there seem to be some reserves.

The Miracle Of Frog Tape And Presence Of Moisture

Michael Angelo sure must have had a time painting the Sistine Chapel, last night (around 7pm to be exact) I thought "What a good time to start repainting the bathroom ceiling!"... HA think again self - I should have remembered the long hours and excruciating arm pain when I painted the master bedroom last year. I will say that "frog tape" is far superior to the typical "blue painters tape" (and the green color is more novel). It does work great at creating clean lines....BUT when you have a bathroom wall with very very VERY old flat paint on the walls that has absorbed moisture for decades...be prepared. As I began removing the tape - it took quite a bit of the wall paint with it...not a pretty picture. After collecting some paint fragments I am heading to Lowe's in between sales calls today to see about reviving this color so that I may repair the tears in the wall paint and "de-ghetto" my bathroom with better ceilings.

Future formula for estimating paint time: (Square Footage + Age of Existing Paint) x infinity + 3 hours for climbing up and down the ladder and washing paint off of your hands and ladder = HIRE A PROFESSIONAL!

Maybe it was the paint fumes, but I also endured the most terrible nightmare I have had in years...you know you have had a bad dream when you wake up and say out loud "Wow that was terrible". Dreams are the worst when they have any kind of a foothold in reality - I would like to have a good dream based in reality, lets try for that tonight!

The Shock of Muscle Fatigue and an Abandoned Mercedes

Spring weather has finally decided to grace us with its presence! This is a time to be cherished, flowers are blooming, leaves are coming out, all before allergy season smacks us in the face. Fellow allergy sufferers know that dreaded time of year well.

Due to the glorious temperatures and sunshine today, I thought what better than to go for a good ole fashioned run in the great outdoors, instead of running inside the gym while watching Opera (I can do that any day). Nothing better than hitting the trail and enjoying the serene views of nature. I definitely realized today that because of the volume level in the gym from the televisions, background music, and yelling from personal trainers, I have been listening to my ipod at ear-shattering decibels. Upon turning my ipod up to my customary volume level, I quickly realized that I was providing musical entertainment for the entire park...so I took it down several notches...I have no doubt done permanent damage to my hearing.

Any who, I began my journey around the lake and under-calculated the strain that running all the way around and back to my vehicle would put on my body. As they say, training is key and although I do consider myself to be a runner, when you are suddenly completing nearly triple your normal routine - there can be severe consequences. During exercise, with music and comical passersby entertaining you, it can be easy to overlook the pain you are beginning to feel and the blister that is growing to the size of a golf ball. About half way through my route, I looked across the lake and saw the tiny spec that was my parking lot...I had a long road left to go. Every runner knows there is nothing better than the sight of your car as you approach the end of your gruelling journey. Straggling along the remainder of the trail I just barely made it into the front seat without collapsing from exhaustion.

Upon my arrival home, even though my travel time had been below 30 minutes, my muscles had had enough time to succumb to extreme fatigue. Getting out of the car and up the stairs from the garage was quite a challenge. I felt much like Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother - for those with good taste in television) when he ran an entire marathon without training and then got trapped on the subway because he could no longer move his legs when he finished. To say the least, keeping my legs elevated the entire evening has been essential. Heavens knows that tomorrow I will be hobbling from appointment to appointment...I may have to borrow one of our clients electric scooters... we shall see.

Traffic problems abound in this city. But there are always those truely bizarre traffic obstacles that really do not make sense. While my muscles were giving out during my post-run drive home, I discovered that the reason traffic was backed up for 5 miles, was that someone had left a new Mercedes in the left lane of a major street...There was no one in the car or in sight nearby and the car was on with lights flashing...extreme circumstances can occur, but I knew it would be only a matter of time before someone would make off with this 100k car with the keys left so carelessly in the ignition. There are plenty of questionable vans and infamous dodge neons that litter the sides of the highway with "Tow Warnings" plastered to the side window, but its not everyday you come across a Mercedes in prime condition left on the street nonetheless.

The Endless Slu Of Workshops, Wildlife Warnings, And An Impulsive Shopping Trip: Part Two

There is nothing like waking up at the crack of dawn to attend the second day of a sales conference. After stumbling out of bed and dawning my business attire I was off for my quarter mile (uphill) trek to the banquet hall. Luckily there was breakfast being served and I grabbed the first hostess I could find to make sure that I would be able to get my morning caffeine fix. Breakfast was satisfactory for the most part, except the eggs left much to be desired and I am sure they were poured from a carton into the skillet. Nonetheless I was slightly more awake by the end of the meal.

Immediately after breakfast we embarked on the five hour journey (or "safari" as they called it) through workshops. One can only take in so much information at once, but I got the gist of the message - healthcare reform is a mess, no one even knows what the exact policy terms will be, all of our agencies are going to suffer loses - cheery huh? We broke in the middle for lunch and then returned to our meetings. As if all that time together wasn't enough, we were invited to a happy hour scavenger hunt until 6pm. I opted out of this final event of the day, as the prizes were unappealing and the prices at the cash bar were outrageous. I felt that my time would be much better spent gallivanting off to the nearby outlet mall...

Outlet malls are always a big mistake, sucked in by the seemingly low prices and deals to be had - I entered into this collection of 110 stores like a moth to the flame. There I encountered my greatest outlet mall weakness...Coach. It isn't every day that I am able to feast my eyes upon hundreds of reasonably priced (ok lets be honest, nothing in the store was reasonably priced) Coach purses. It wasn't long before I was deciding between three and kept a death grip on my final choice as I made my way to the register. This purchase was justified by the fact that I have no "summer purses" and clearly that is the next season, so it seemed only natural that I prepare. What came to follow was equally shameful...a new watch, a pair of shoes...this was the most expensive conference that I have ever attended.

After snagging some Applebee's curbside I returned to my hotel room laden with purchases. What I came to discover next was most unfortunate...our conference theme "Its a Jungle Out There" wasn't too far off. I found an insect warning card on my night stand. This horrifying piece of literature told of the dangers of brown recluse spiders, scorpions, and a number of other "wildlife" common in this area of the country....just what I wanted to read before trying to get some sleep. On top of my normal fear of spiders I now had to contend with potentially lethal night time visitors. As you can imagine I had some difficulty falling asleep. Needless to say I am glad this conference is only once a year - I am eager to return home to my urban comforts.

The Epic Journey To The Ozarks: Part One

Oh google maps...how shall thee cause me to waste gas next time? Ever since the loss of my Sprint navigation feature (which was the only positive thing about Sprint, wrong 30% of the time, and only worked if you could get a signal) I have been reliant on google maps to get around to places that I have never ventured to before. Thursday afternoon was no different, after finally getting on the road for the annual sales conference in the Ozarks a mere 40 minutes late due to the furniture delivery company's incompetence to arrive within the three hour window, I set off for my whirl wind adventure. Little did I know that half the journey would take me careening around wild turns as I flew down the back roads across the state and through some bizarre towns....For example I traveled through a place called "Iberia"...for a minute I thought that I had gotten so turned around that I had entered up in a  Russian province, alas this was only the smallest ghost town in the state with an estimated 23 residents...I do not know how these people live...with no PF Chang's or even Subway in sight I was glad to leave this town in the dust! Then the real trouble came about two hours into my drive...I became trapped behind a manure truck...

I do not know why they were carting around, for lack of a better description, cow poop, but the smell was unmistakable. All the sweet pea air fresheners in the world could not have saved my car - I closed all the vents and tried to breathe as little as possible, but it was all too potent. I spent the next hour behind this unfortunate vehicle, traveling at 20mph below the speed limit and fully enraged the entire time. Not only was I nearly late to the beginning of the conference, but I do not think my nasal passages will ever recover from that trauma.

Once I arrived at the "resort" I realized that this must have been a nice hotel about 20 years ago, but it has long since passed its prime. The lobby and everything else for that matter, leave much to be desired and as I checked in I kept thinking to myself how grateful I was that this expense was going on the company credit card. My room was about 1/4 of a mile from the main building so I scrambled over there to change into my "evening wear" for the banquet.

There is still nothing like walking into a giant room of people when you do not know 98% of them. Half of them were rushing the bar so I was able to scope out the available tables. Lucky for me I spotted a friendly competitor and commandeered a seat at his table. My appetite returned just in time for dinner as the smell of manure had left my nose and I was ravenous to eat the sub par hotel "mystery chicken" and potatoes. During the banquet many awards were given to caregivers in our industry and their stories all had common themes: they were very underpaid, worked endless amounts of overtime, were willing to take an extra shift at a moments notice, and one woman had even left her father's death bed to care for a client...I must say if that is what you have to do these days to get recognized then I won't be expecting recognition any time soon.

The Random Movie From Australia

Generally speaking, the movies available for free viewing on "on demand" are sub-par in quality, but every once in awhile you stumble across something worth watching. Tonight was such an occasion...I have never seen a movie made down-under, but must say that I was rather impressed. With quite the interesting title, My Year Without Sex, I didn't know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was really just a movie about life, a family and the different trials and tribulations that they go through after the passing of a life altering event. The characters were quite interesting and "gritty", honestly it reminded me of a British film (but ah ha the connection between the Aussies and the UK is undeniable).

In pure British fashion the plot was chalk full of subtle side plotlines, meant to perhaps make you question your opinion of where things were headed, but in the end proved fruitless. Rarely have I come across a movie that makes you wonder at so many crucial points: is there son struggling with his sexuality? is the dog going to survive? is the main character going to find God? is the husband going to have an affair? is she ever going to get to have sex again? Yes, there were lots of random questions such as the above that the movie constructed. Luckily all the "uh oh" moments did not effect a generally uplifting ending - always a good thing for a Monday.

I did however unfortunately realize that tomorrow at the early hour of 8am I have to attend a networking/collaborative function for two hours...not really what I am in the mood for considering I will be at the sales conference Thursday night thru Saturday afternoon...Hopefully there will be breakfast provided - owing to the fact that my yearly membership dues were in the hundreds (thank goodness I didn't have to fork out that money). Hopefully there are some friendly and interesting people in attendance tomorrow. Last meeting I met several funeral directors...just not a profession that I can get used to or feel comfortable talking with for that matter.

The Windy Day of Oddities and Breadsticks

Wind gusts today made me feel quite like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, typical of this time of year - Spring is blowing in with full force! These gail force winds tore loose some siding which is now hanging precariously from the topmost floor of the condo building...it seems to be in prime position to decapitate an innocent passerby (hopefully my neighbor) as it seems to be made of cheap metal/plastic, so I hurry by and encourage Chloe not to dilly-dally with her "business". We are due for some storms as the humidity continues to rise and the temperature difference between today and tomorrow will hover around 20 degrees. God bless surge protectors. And umbrellas for that matter.

Today was a typical day living next to the drug dealer. Strange cars (one of which is a Land Rover, that I am convinced is stolen), maniacal laughter, smoking meat (or heavens knows what), and way too many people in a one bedroom house to stay within "occupancy codes". Alas they are still here and I wait anxiously for the glorious day that they are evicted, back to that which they came - Illinois.

Breadsticks were in no short supply today, thanks to Olive Garden and their miracle of endless salad and breadsticks. I have surely consumed enough carbs to last me a month...and I am sure to consume more within the next 48 hours. Stay strong pancreas, stay strong.

Now to continue on with my most recent reading adventure The Angels Game, quite the unique novel de Barcelona. Chalk full of strange characters and an even stranger plot line. I am thankful that the days of reading over-priced school textbooks are behind me! Now I can lavish in my "freedom of reading choice" and devour as much of the fictional word as I please.

The Inevitable Decay of Youth

This title does sound rather dreary...or "Woody-Allen-esk" (whichever you subscribe to, depression or depression mixed with witty humor). Nothing like a weekend excursion to a trampoline park to show you how much you have deteriorated in your physical stamina since being a child. Good lord, I thought of myself as being a fairly athletic person, but after about 5 minutes jumping about at Skyzone I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. Perhaps the movement was just very strenuous...but perhaps not, due to the fact that my shoulder now feels like it has been dislocated and I felt as though my knees were going to buckle after several rough landings. I will cherish my knees, back, and shoulders in this state, as they are bound to get worse with time. I do think I need to credit my three year stint at the nursing home with my now below par back - but moving forward I need to sign back up at the very enjoyable establishment...massage envy. Ah soft music, herbal tea, and all for a ridiculously high price - what could be better.

Mondays are very two-faced, they either go south very quickly or north at a more steady pace. Lucky for me this Monday was tolerable and I even secured a meeting with a great referral source that I need to buddy up with. Cherishing the little wins is part of surviving in the world of sales...the constant beat-down of negativity can pulverize any salespersons' optimism if not interspersed with some success (however small). Monday or not, irony always finds its way into my life - I had to give a presentation today at a LTC community on "positive thinking"...the director of this community will never return my calls or answer my emails even though he expects me to be at his beck-and-call. Nonetheless, unsure of what else to do I prepared for the topic he had suggested (and surely forgotten about) a month prior. My segment went over well as a crowd of smiling seniors stared back at me nodding in agreement about how we should all adapt a more positive outlook. Unfortunately, the next two speakers had to announce that three well-loved staff members have decided to resign and three members of the community had died the night before...so naturally my point was quickly mute.

The Most Unfortunate of Neighbors

Sharing walls is highly overrated...especially when you have neighbors that function at the oddest hours of the day. When I saw the moving truck several weeks ago, little did I know that I would be sharing a common wall with quite possibly the most obnoxious neighbors of all time. Yes, I live next to a 30-something-year-old who thinks that this condo building is a dorm, smokes like a chimney, must be dabbling in illegal drugs, and is dating a psychopath - ahhh homeowner bliss...

After hearing the screaming matches that ensue at least three nights (or mornings rather since this takes place at 3am) per week, I am hesitant to approach my neighbor directly to complain about the serious noise violations that are being committed. People may say "be a friendly neighbor and approach them directly, surely they will be more courteous in the future"...I don't think these people remember that anybody could be packin. From my limited knowledge of this man this is what I have deduced so far...

1) He is in a seriously strained relationship with a woman that lives in IL and shows up a few nights per week in the middle of the night (at first I thought prostitute, but he is giving her his spot in the parking garage so perhaps this is a very ghetto version of Pretty Woman)
2) He barbecues around 10am
3) His vocabulary is primarily composed of: F*CK, F*CK YOU, F*CK HER, F*CK HIM - yes he formulates very primitive sentences around these words and phrases.
4) He must be a drug dealer: he works odd hours of the day, different cars show up all the time...and he is awake 20 hours per day (highly irregular - especially since I am someone that requires the fulll eight hours of sleep to function)
5) I am doing everything in my power to get him evicted.

After making several complaints to the association and the fact that they dislike "renters" in the first place, I have to hold onto the hope that its only a matter of time before he is kicked to the curb.

Alas, tomorrow is Friday and that always brings a gleeful twinkle to my eye! I live for the weekends and even though this one is supposed to be cold and rainy, I still welcome it with open arms! I see pancakes and sleeping in, in my near future.

The Figment Of My Imagination And Unfortunate Artic Blast

Waking up to four inches of snow was quite the surprise this morning as it had just been 65 degrees on Saturday...I had to dawn the ole' winter garb once again...one does get tired of trudging through the winter slop. Naturally I had just finished washing the car this weekend and it was in pristine condition - that didn't last long as I was blasted with sleet all day long. Car washing days do have an uncanny habit of landing on days before torrential rain (or sleet in this case). Nonetheless the on the bright side of things there was not an inch of salt on the roads to corrode the paint on my car, on the not so bright side of things...there was ice that formed underneath all the sludge. You can not win in these types of situations.

I received my semi-annual bill in the mail today from an entity who I am convinced is actually a figment of my imagination...my insurance agent. Not only have I never met my insurance agent, I have never even spoken to him on the phone. Like many of the referral sources that I hunt day in and day out, he will not return my calls. No matter how many voicemails I leave I never hear back from my "agent" whose name is apparently "Sean", but I have my doubts. His assistant is apparently his liaison to all of his clients. The only thing I know is that he has taken away another one of my discounts and every 6 months I seem to owe more on my insurance even though I haven't had any accidents. Sigh...I am just another residual income for this apparition named Sean. One thing that is definitely real is the check that I have to mail in that is promptly cashed even if I have back-dated the check. Banks these days, no wonder we have identity theft when they can not even honor the date on a check. Perhaps I will start my own insurance company and cast my dog Chloe as the "agent" and work as her assistant mailing bills and collecting the price increases...one can dream you know.

Tomorrow holds promise as I have a meeting at a very agreeable establishment, Fro Yo. I am not afraid to invite referral sources out for some good old frozen yogurt to break the ice with delicious toppings and flavors! Starbucks is pricey and overrated not to mention the stench of coffee and boiled milk that permeates your clothing and skin for at least a week if you spend more that 10 minutes inside. This does not stop me from meeting my friend and previous coworker there at least once a week for lunch though...I just bring cheezits instead of drinking my favorite 400 calorie and $4 hot chocolate and change clothes as soon as humanely possible.

The Doctor/Model Who is Neither Doctor Nor Model

Ah Springtime in the Midwest...the weather will hopefully begin to break soon (and not into a tornadic state as it did last week), the days are getting longer, my attention span at work is getting shorter, and the landscapers are out in full-force.

I have had many run ins with the "street-yellers" of the opposite sex, but never before have I experienced encounters with the landscaping breed. They can usually be found in hoards of at least five and are usually making more of a mess of the area then improving the "beautification" of the grounds and spending more time looking about their surroundings than concentrating on the job at hand. Dressed in my usual attire I proceeded to walk in to a hospital and caught the attention of these individuals digging amongst the flower beds. I thought I had avoided verbal contact as I made it to the door (where I was unfortunately told that being a vendor I could not proceed to the correct area without an appointment), but alas my return to my car was in too close a proximity for the landscapers to forget. They proceeded to tell me they thought I looked like a number of things (too bad the woman at the front desk didn't think I looked like a doctor) as I hurried by. Little did they know that I am simply an underpaid sales rep who needs a vacation more than my next breath of oxygen...But perhaps this scenario was better than more crude run ins with several members of the Springfield population. Maybe I should have become a doctor or taken up a higher paying position as I would like to retire, um yesterday.

As the weather continues to improve I am sure that I will be able to lessen the number of run ins with landscapers as I will be sprinting to get inside my destinations, with the inferno that this city becomes in the dead of summer. The air conditioning system in my car will be up for a grueling challenge indeed.

The Devil Wears An Unrecognizable Brand Of Clothing

Unfortunately, unlike Anne Hathaway I do not receive free designer clothes at my place of employment...rather constant ridicule and displays of dissatisfaction. It does make one less eager to set foot even within five miles of the office, but alas I have no choice but to toil through Wednesday meetings. It is a shame really due to the fact that everyone else in the office is wonderful. As they say...one rotten apple spoils the bunch.

Even so, my current situation far exceeds that of my experience in the corporate world. I have had enough praying before staff meetings to last me several lifetimes and that time clock was enough to drive anyone to madness. I have traded that misery for a lesser punishment - which mainly concerns my mental health on Wednesdays and the sacrifice of my automobile. Yes, my car is as worn down as a street-walker and unlike Pretty Woman, Richard Gere is not going to come by and sweep it off its feet. I watch powerless as the odometer clicks away my extended warranty. Thank goodness for the good gas mileage though, which has even improved as I have worn in the engine quite sufficiently. Speaking of gas prices, they are a force to be reckoned with...I have never watched gas prices as religiously as I do now...the life of an outside sales rep who does not have the luxury of a company car.

The Common Denominator of Management

It is not a proven statistic, but I am convinced that 99% of all upper management, are not competent to do what their title suggests...manage. From personal experience I can agree with the above statement. I have had an endless parade of ill-mannered, discriminatory, unprofessional, and down right dumb managers in my seemingly endless work history. Why were they ever hired or promoted in the first place is always my question. I am always amazed at the sheer ridiculousness of the system in which we hire these buffoons to manage the masses. Firstly, managers seem to be the hardest to fire...even though as the age old saying goes "a few bad apples spoil the bunch" - bad management moves through the work team like a plague, creating one disgruntled employee after another until the company either fails or goes under new and equally terrible management....this is one of the main lessons that I have learned in my professional life. Such a sad state of affairs.

Performance reviews are just one of the many nauseating facets to the management system. I love feedback as much as the next person and think that it is an essential tool for improvement...but when you feel as if you are on trial for committing war crimes, the point is lost. Managers love to dish out feedback (especially negative, because God forbid we pat anyone on the back because then their performance will clearly decline) but they can never point the mirror in their own direction and see their own deficits that may be causing their employees to rip their hair out. Training for this type of self-discovery is of course absent. What a shock.

All this talk of management makes me angsty....especially because I have to see my manager tomorrow for a painstaking hour of non-stop talking with complete refusal to listen or attempt to understand my point of view. I will order something crunchy that takes a long time to chew for our "working lunch" (or as I like to call it, fake lunch hour that is really misery and not a break as OSHA requires).

Plans are overrated. As the saying goes "Even the best laid plans....yada yada yada" - I prefer "All plans go to waste". After a lifetime of disappointment and failed plans, I have decided to stop making long term plans, especially since the time and energy worrying on these plans is wasted in the end, with almost everything being out of my control. I am going to plan: meals, the week - no the day, and leave the rest up to fate, because that is what is going to happen anyway.

Pessimism must be balanced with a good healthy dose of cheesecake (the savior of the night). Nothing like winding down the day over: salad, three loaves of bread, mashed potatoes, and cheesecake (its a good thing I went to the gym alot this week).