Oh google maps...how shall thee cause me to waste gas next time? Ever since the loss of my Sprint navigation feature (which was the only positive thing about Sprint, wrong 30% of the time, and only worked if you could get a signal) I have been reliant on google maps to get around to places that I have never ventured to before. Thursday afternoon was no different, after finally getting on the road for the annual sales conference in the Ozarks a mere 40 minutes late due to the furniture delivery company's incompetence to arrive within the three hour window, I set off for my whirl wind adventure. Little did I know that half the journey would take me careening around wild turns as I flew down the back roads across the state and through some bizarre towns....For example I traveled through a place called "Iberia"...for a minute I thought that I had gotten so turned around that I had entered up in a Russian province, alas this was only the smallest ghost town in the state with an estimated 23 residents...I do not know how these people live...with no PF Chang's or even Subway in sight I was glad to leave this town in the dust! Then the real trouble came about two hours into my drive...I became trapped behind a manure truck...
I do not know why they were carting around, for lack of a better description, cow poop, but the smell was unmistakable. All the sweet pea air fresheners in the world could not have saved my car - I closed all the vents and tried to breathe as little as possible, but it was all too potent. I spent the next hour behind this unfortunate vehicle, traveling at 20mph below the speed limit and fully enraged the entire time. Not only was I nearly late to the beginning of the conference, but I do not think my nasal passages will ever recover from that trauma.
Once I arrived at the "resort" I realized that this must have been a nice hotel about 20 years ago, but it has long since passed its prime. The lobby and everything else for that matter, leave much to be desired and as I checked in I kept thinking to myself how grateful I was that this expense was going on the company credit card. My room was about 1/4 of a mile from the main building so I scrambled over there to change into my "evening wear" for the banquet.
There is still nothing like walking into a giant room of people when you do not know 98% of them. Half of them were rushing the bar so I was able to scope out the available tables. Lucky for me I spotted a friendly competitor and commandeered a seat at his table. My appetite returned just in time for dinner as the smell of manure had left my nose and I was ravenous to eat the sub par hotel "mystery chicken" and potatoes. During the banquet many awards were given to caregivers in our industry and their stories all had common themes: they were very underpaid, worked endless amounts of overtime, were willing to take an extra shift at a moments notice, and one woman had even left her father's death bed to care for a client...I must say if that is what you have to do these days to get recognized then I won't be expecting recognition any time soon.
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