There is nothing like waking up at the crack of dawn to attend the second day of a sales conference. After stumbling out of bed and dawning my business attire I was off for my quarter mile (uphill) trek to the banquet hall. Luckily there was breakfast being served and I grabbed the first hostess I could find to make sure that I would be able to get my morning caffeine fix. Breakfast was satisfactory for the most part, except the eggs left much to be desired and I am sure they were poured from a carton into the skillet. Nonetheless I was slightly more awake by the end of the meal.
Immediately after breakfast we embarked on the five hour journey (or "safari" as they called it) through workshops. One can only take in so much information at once, but I got the gist of the message - healthcare reform is a mess, no one even knows what the exact policy terms will be, all of our agencies are going to suffer loses - cheery huh? We broke in the middle for lunch and then returned to our meetings. As if all that time together wasn't enough, we were invited to a happy hour scavenger hunt until 6pm. I opted out of this final event of the day, as the prizes were unappealing and the prices at the cash bar were outrageous. I felt that my time would be much better spent gallivanting off to the nearby outlet mall...
Outlet malls are always a big mistake, sucked in by the seemingly low prices and deals to be had - I entered into this collection of 110 stores like a moth to the flame. There I encountered my greatest outlet mall weakness...Coach. It isn't every day that I am able to feast my eyes upon hundreds of reasonably priced (ok lets be honest, nothing in the store was reasonably priced) Coach purses. It wasn't long before I was deciding between three and kept a death grip on my final choice as I made my way to the register. This purchase was justified by the fact that I have no "summer purses" and clearly that is the next season, so it seemed only natural that I prepare. What came to follow was equally shameful...a new watch, a pair of shoes...this was the most expensive conference that I have ever attended.
After snagging some Applebee's curbside I returned to my hotel room laden with purchases. What I came to discover next was most unfortunate...our conference theme "Its a Jungle Out There" wasn't too far off. I found an insect warning card on my night stand. This horrifying piece of literature told of the dangers of brown recluse spiders, scorpions, and a number of other "wildlife" common in this area of the country....just what I wanted to read before trying to get some sleep. On top of my normal fear of spiders I now had to contend with potentially lethal night time visitors. As you can imagine I had some difficulty falling asleep. Needless to say I am glad this conference is only once a year - I am eager to return home to my urban comforts.
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